Did you know that anytime you have ever been angry you had the perception of "Something unfair is going on here" first? Do 1, 2, 3 with anger and you may feel better fast.
1. Name the Feeling: Angry
2. Name the Cause: Something is going on that is unfair to you or someone you care about.
3. Do a Satisfying Response: Ways to reduce feelings of anger.
a) Check – was it really unfair? If it was fair, that changes your perspective.
- Give yourself some cool-down time and reassess the situation; it might be fair.
- Get other’s perspective on the situation.
- Listen to the other side.
- Step back and look at the big picture.
- Were you in a bad mood or tired and being oversensitive?
- Sometimes, it just is the way it is, and it’s equally unfair to everyone.
b) Make fair. Whenever possible, attempt to regain fairness in the situation.
- Let people know that it seems unfair to you.
- Talk to someone in charge and tell them about the situation.
- Stand up for yourself in a fair and caring way.
- Join a group that stands up for rights.
- Join with others that feel like you do and get support in your efforts.
c) Forgive them and move on – real forgiveness reduces the anger.
- Remember that forgiveness is NOT forgetting what happened.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you like the person or what they did.
- Forgiveness has a more positive effect on you than it does on them.
- Try to understand why they did the unfair thing. This makes forgiveness easier.
- Realize that most of the time, they wish that they could do better.
- Forgiveness gives you back your mental and emotional energy for other things.
- Forgiveness gives you peace of mind when all other things *Taken from Cal Banyan's The Secret Language of feelings book.
*For more information on how you can get deep forgiveness using hypnosis call our office. Otherwise watch this SHORT VIDEO while you consider it.